chapter 7

I was at my usual spot , watching the waves of the pure sea ,  and all I thought about is how to go with life , wherever I go , and whatever I do seems wrong , when would this finish ? I'm really tired of my life and every part of it makes me feel sick , and zeyad , if he just left without any words , if he just valued that feeling that I had towered him , he doesn't deserves anything , I thought that I should go back to London to complete my studies , why would I stay in Saudi anyways ?

I got up from my place , headed to the car , and told the driver to go to the hospital , where my mother was

After arriving to the hospital , I was greeted by my 3 brothers death stares , cool I have nothing to hide , it seems that ra2id told them everything about me and zeyad

Me: kaif  9art mama , inshallah a7san ?

Ra2id: omi al7mdellah t7snt , bs lamma tshoofik ra7 t9eer aswa2

Ouch , 6rda ?

Me: law sma7t e7rmni nfs ma a7trmik

Ra2id: mashallah enti a5r men ytklm 3an al e7tram

Rami intervened : stop it , mama t3bana w ento hatha a5r hmkm

 I remained silent , an hour later I went to the cafeteria , and guess who I saw there ?

Fahad !!

Me: hi

Fahad: hi

Me: what's wrong ? why are you here

Fahad : nothing , my friend is tired , I came in a visit , but you didn’t tell my why are you here ?

Me: my mom is tired

Fahad: salamt'ha , coffee ?

Me: why not ?

I went and sat on a table , fahad brought 2 coffee mugs and sat in front of me , we remained silent for about 5 minuets , none of us knew what to say

I finally spoke : have you thought of something to do to soha ?

Fahad: no , I was really busy , and soha might stay at her mother's house in Riyadh

Me: yeah , will you go with her if she goes ?

Fahad: I don’t really know

I was giving my back to the door , so I didn’t see people who come in or leave

As we were chatting about random stuffs, I saw fahad getting  up and greeting a guy , I didn’t see him , but I recognized him by his very special voice , zeyad !

Zeyad: ohh razan kafik ?

Fahad: t3rfha ?

Zeyad : w kaif ma a3rf o5ti

Fahad: wallah twni a3rf , ma glteli razan

I was silent , I didn’t know what to say

Zeyad: ela fahad mo ent mtzwj soha alX ?

Fahad: eeh

Zeyad : w razan shtswi hena

For the sake of god , how does this guy thinks

I finally spoke : bs 3adi sheft fahad w shrbt coffee m3ah feha shi ?

Zeyad: la abd ma feeha shi , ga3da m3a zooj 9degtik , 3adi al w'93

It was clear that fahad was really confused , he didn’t undertand zeyad , neither I , what does zeyad wants ?

Me : wallah ana msh m'96ra ashr7 lik shi , 3an ethnik fahad lazim aroo7

I used the elevator to arrive to my mothers room  , I unlocked the door , and went inside , this time there was a difference , my mom was awake , I didn’t want to face her , I wasn't ready for that , not know

Me faking a smile : al7mdellah 3al salamah mama

My mom remained silent , but her eyes spoke , she was really tired , disappointed , and sad , I went and kissed her forehead

Mama: razan lazim ntklm

Me: okay , bs mo al7een , awal 9eri a7sn , alzm ma 3laina ho 97tik

Mama ana al7een lazim aroo7 bukra ashoofik bye

I went out quickly , my mom made me feel weaker , I lost my father , and I didn’t want to lose my mother , she's all I have right now

At midnight , I was really hungry , I went downstairs to the kitchen

I made a sandwich to eat , I was about to eat it but I heard a voice that freaked the hell out of me

Me: omg , you scared me

….: hahahaha

Me: why are you here

….: same reason why you’re here , what are you eating ?

Me: apparently a sandwich

….: la ya shai5a

Me: hahaha shagool y3ni

….: abi akil

Me: swi lnfsik akil

….: ma a3rf

Me: then why are you here ? ana hena 3lshan aswi lnfsi akil

….: please swi le

Me: no  

After 5 minuets of begging

Me: 5ala9 fkni bs shtbi ?

….: anything

Me: shrayik t6lb l nfsik akil mo a7san

….: 6ayeb bs bshr6

Me: aish ?

….: t3ali shoofi movie m3ay

Me: okay , aish al movie ?

….: paranormal activity

Me: maby

….: t5afeen ?

Me : nooo

….: then we're gonna watch it

Me: okay

After ordering pizza , me and my youngest brother rakan were at the basement watching the movie

Rakan: razan let's change the movie

Me: why

Rakan: I don’t like it

Me: but I do

Rakan: please

Me while laughing : t5af

Rakan : la

Me: I want to watch this movie

Rakan: okay ee a5af

I burst into laughter , my brother fears a movie

Rakan: stop it it's not funny

Me: it is

We continued the night watching another movie , and then the other

It was my first time to have a bother sister night , it felt great , I regretted all the past days , when I used to stay alone

We decided to play truth or dare

Rakan started : truth or dare ?

Me: truth

Rakan : razan aish kan bainik w bain zeyad ?

Let your comments make my day , waiting !