chapter 6

After that tragical memory , and all the tears , I saw my moms body laying in the ground , and I heard a voice shouting : yumaaaaaa

And as I rotated my head , my eyes saw ra2id in front of me , shaking my mother and saying : la Yuma , ana ma agwa fragik , yumaa rdi tsm3eeni , razaaan klmi es3af

I was shocked I didn’t know what to do , I stayed in my place trying to recognize the situation , but ra2id's voice woke me , and I returned me back to reality , I went running in circles , not  even knowing what I was searching for , I saw ra2id carrying my mother and running , I followed them , but ra2id was so quick , after moments the view of ra2id's car disappeared , I wore my abaya , and ran to the car , after calling the driver. I'm now setting next to ra2id , waiting for the doctor , ra2id was so silent , he didn’t even move , and he said nothing , I was scared , and many questions were swimming in my mind , trying to  find an answer , but unfortunately , I couldn’t , am I the reason of all of this ? maybe this was all my fault , this is karma , being in a relationship isn’t the solution , but I was weak , laj2t le as'hal al 6r8 , but this is too much , I know I did something wrong , and I got my punishment , my lovers was my brother , I lost my father , and losing my mother is on prospect,

يارب ترجع لي امي , يا رب مالي غيرك

I  was repeating that over and over , until the doctor's voice interrupted me , me and ra2id went following , after setting on the chairs facing the desk the doctor finally spook : al walda t3r'9t le azma nfseya , w hatha 2thar 3leeha , l2nha mree'9at sukar

Ra2id finally spoke after that hour of silent : w alm6loub ?

The doctor : al walda t7taj le ra7ah , w eb3dooha 3an ay a5bar sy2a

Ra2id went out without saying anything , I thanked the doctor and I left him , I saw ra2id lifting the hospital , I followed him , and then I saw him smoking

Razan: ra2id , ent mo wgft td5een

Ra2id : w al7een rj3t ad5in

I took the cigarette from his hand and threw it

Ra2id shouting : laish ta5theenha meen sm7 lik ?

Razan: ra2id shfeek ? w law sm7t la t9r5

Ra2id : ma a9r5 , razan eli sm3tah 97 ? goli la , goli ketheb ,

He was shaking me and I saw a tear rolling from his eye , I knew he heard us , me and mom

Ra2id: razan tklmi , goli la , la tskteen

I said nothing my tears were my answer , they were enough

Ra2id : laish ? laish ? e7na ma g9rna 3laik b shi , kenti bs t2shreen w yjeek eli tbeenah , kant 6lbatik awamer , laish ?

I felt sick of this , they keep on blaming me , this is over

Razan : hatha eli ento sha6reen feeh al loom 97 ? fi a7d mara ja w s2l 3ni ? la . fi a7d klf nfsah ytklm m3ay ? ham la , ya ra2id al floos eli knt ttklm 3nha , ana ma abeeha etha kant al floos btb3dna w btfrgna ana ast'3ni 3nha , al floos 5lt aboy men safra le thaina , al floos 5lt omi men munasba ejtma3eya le thania , 9art t'htam b al m'6aher akthar men awladha , w ento kel wa7id kan b jeha w wla a7d kan dari 3an al thani , fahmt laish klmt zeyad , kan ho al w7eed eli wgf m3ay , 7baitah , w 7b-

I couldn’t complete my word , because what just happened made me stop

Ra2id slapped me and then said : w b kil w8a7a tgoolen a7ibah , enti '9y3ti shrfna , enti shwaht'i sum3tna

I was crying really hard , while laying on the street , la w eli zad al6een balah , ena zeyad w9l

Zeyad : sh9ayer ?

Ra2id : abd , bs ena omi bain al 7ayat w al moot bsbtik ent w al o5ti alm9oon razan , W B KIL BJA7A TS2AL , KNT TKLM O5TIK 3LA ENHA 7BEEBTIK YA W95

Zeyad's eye's moved and they were staring at my eye's searching for an answer

Ra2id : shelly 9ar bainkum ?

Zeyad : ma 9ar shi , bs muklamat telephone

Ra2id : w ana shelly y'9mni ena klamik 97ee7

Zeyad: elzam 7dik , o gbl la ts2lni es2al o5tik eli rmt nfs'ha 3alay

Seriously , ana eli rmeet nfsi

Razan : ent eli elzam 7dik , w ana ma rmeet nfsi 3leek , ya 5sara bs , ya 5sara

I went back home , I couldn’t stop crying , eeh hatha eli 7beetah r59ni , ay 7ub hatha , hatha mo 7ub

رعاك الله يا ذكرى ليالي اللي تمر البال تذكرني سعاده يوم اغمض وابحر بفكري
تغير حالي المنهك طيوف الحب لأفضل حال تباعدني عن الدنيا ومافيها ولي عذري
انا العاشق عشقت الشمس والقمره غلا وآمال انا المغرم ومازال الغرام يهب في صدري
انا الماضي وانا الحاضر وانا مستقبل الاجيال انا لي في ايديني لعبة الاحلام من بدري
انا الافراح والارباح والفايض وراس المال انا الافكار والاسرار وادفن في الفضا سري
بعيد هناك ما ينشاف وان شافوه ما ينطال اعيشه بيني وبيني وكل الناس ما تدري
اصابر واتصبر واعرض حروفه حكم وامثال ومهما راحت الدنيا بأهلها ما نفذ صبري
فمان الله وحفظ الله وتبقى دايمن في البال فمان الله يا شخصن مع عمره خذا عمري